he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
