He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
