I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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