that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize