the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
