is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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