so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
