wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just forgot I was standing up.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
