dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize