reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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