I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
