i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
