just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
