I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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