the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
