Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
