Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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