Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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