I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.