Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.

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(703): in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner. http://tfl.nu/1ds9

Replies (15) Good night (749) Bad night (896)
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(949): View more from California

Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.

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(949): Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier. http://tfl.nu/b8lx

Replies (22) Good night (1059) Bad night (2458)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I just spent $27 on things to pee on.

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(484): I just spent $27 on things to pee on. http://tfl.nu/pmzm

Replies (30) Good night (1892) Bad night (4204)
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(541): View more from Oregon

She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.

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(541): She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it. http://tfl.nu/jrtc

Replies (12) Good night (622) Bad night (2864)
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(619): View more from California

DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES

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(619): DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES http://tfl.nu/9dpy

Replies (23) Good night (5146) Bad night (674)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.

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(703): Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/f3x3

Replies (7) Good night (4420) Bad night (1272)
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(718): View more from New York

He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.

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(718): He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter. http://tfl.nu/o453

Replies (16) Good night (6985) Bad night (1208)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA

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(+44): He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA http://tfl.nu/iogl

Replies (14) Good night (2291) Bad night (1271)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.

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(423): All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited. http://tfl.nu/itw0

Replies (8) Good night (3099) Bad night (1014)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.

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(508): I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right. http://tfl.nu/agio

Replies (5) Good night (1666) Bad night (856)
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(841): View more from

That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.

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(841): That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead. http://tfl.nu/kk8p

Replies (7) Good night (1475) Bad night (839)
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(936): View more from Texas

My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.

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(936): My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax. http://tfl.nu/o693

Replies (11) Good night (568) Bad night (2002)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really

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(+44): although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really http://tfl.nu/kxvm

Replies (2) Good night (561) Bad night (307)
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(231): View more from Michigan

That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.

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(231): That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/ogi2

Replies (8) Good night (804) Bad night (444)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.

(541): View more from Oregon

It's been productive.

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(541): Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break. (541): It's been productive. http://tfl.nu/6hhe

Replies (4) Good night (587) Bad night (263)

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