If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
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through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee