I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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