hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
