Texts From Last Night

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day

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  (913): I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day http://tfl.nu/fmap
  Replies (35) Good night (5028) Bad night (1741)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.

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  (917): Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship. http://tfl.nu/8xz2
  Replies (26) Good night (7564) Bad night (1189)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook

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  (508): i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook http://tfl.nu/ft2u
  Replies (36) Good night (10378) Bad night (943)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids

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  (217): he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids http://tfl.nu/l2up
  Replies (12) Good night (1171) Bad night (4566)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.

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  (780): My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much. http://tfl.nu/iiov
  Replies (5) Good night (3717) Bad night (927)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.

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  (765): I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me. http://tfl.nu/y0cn
  Replies (4) Good night (3169) Bad night (697)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.

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  (253): The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case. http://tfl.nu/nkd8
  Replies (2) Good night (2199) Bad night (1084)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.

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  (801): When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon. http://tfl.nu/dq5q
  Replies (8) Good night (505) Bad night (1668)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.

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  (956): I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her. http://tfl.nu/jxh9
  Replies (5) Good night (1212) Bad night (421)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.

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  (585): Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend. http://tfl.nu/49qc
  Replies (8) Good night (1075) Bad night (524)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now

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  (978): At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now http://tfl.nu/9tr0
  Replies (7) Good night (488) Bad night (851)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award

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  (618): Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award http://tfl.nu/x66g
  Replies (8) Good night (968) Bad night (285)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.

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  (616): im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake. http://tfl.nu/ht7z
  Replies (6) Good night (402) Bad night (894)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.

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  (716): I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications. http://tfl.nu/oxv6
  Replies (3) Good night (348) Bad night (527)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.

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  (330): I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine. http://tfl.nu/asdt
  Replies (0) Good night (964) Bad night (255)

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