Say something about gay babies.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
