forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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