my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
