I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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