You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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