Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
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