i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
