You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize