she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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