just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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