i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
