Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
