was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
