All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
