god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
