ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
