I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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