Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
