im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize