You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
