Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.

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(416): View more from Ontario

I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...

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(415): View more from California

Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.

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(757): View more from Virginia

It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(404): View more from Georgia

considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.

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(775): View more from Nevada

True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.

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(228): View more from Mississippi

We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver

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(818): View more from California

My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..

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(905): View more from Ontario

He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10

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