He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
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Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
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You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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