her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
