Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
please come you make the beer taste better
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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