I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just gift wrapped bread.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just invented taco cereal.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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