I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize