doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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