Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
