Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.

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(785): View more from Kansas

It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...

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(973): View more from New Jersey

So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.

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(269): View more from Michigan

We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.

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(302): View more from Delaware

You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??

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