Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I am one with the molecules
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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