Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My vagina is officially offended.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
