apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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