no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
