Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I want to fling myself into the sun
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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