Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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