I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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