I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
