4 words: hood of his car
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
