If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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