I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
