Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
