I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
