3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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