I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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