I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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