You're my little dorito
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize