What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
