I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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