you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
